My Values for the Future

This is my family Christmas picture from last year.  My dad is a photographer and each year he has new concepts for our Christmas pictures.  He likes to choose ideas that reflect the most impacted current event of the year.  Last year my dad chose the economic downfall as the theme.  This picture symbolizes that although the world may be at an ugly state, as long as the family has love and one another, everything will be all right.  My name is Jessica Li and I am the girl in the brown top all the way to the right of the photo.

I grew up with a lot of love and support that most children in the United States hardly ever find in their lives.  Realizing this, I am even more grateful of my parents.  My parents have always given my sisters and I the skills that we need in order to survive and enjoy life.  Unlike most Asian parents, my parents have never forced us to get straight “A’s” nor wanted us to be doctors or lawyers.  At times I do see it in their eyes, their yearning for their children to choose a more “successful” career, but I am glad that they stuck to their parenting style and away from the norm to nourish their family with love and support.  Growing up, they have always told my sister and I as long as we try our best in school and learn something, that is enough.  I hope that one day I will be able to show and spread the love that my parents have given to me to others by opening an oratory.  An oratory is a school, a playground, a church, a theatre, and a home for orphans.

I hope to instill my values and other people’s values in my oratory.  I learn that in life, all you need is love.  As cheesy as it sounds, love is what makes the world turn.  Know who you are as a person as well as your weaknesses, so that you know where to improve on.  Ask for help because most of the time, without the help of our family and friends, it stops us from taking the first step to accomplish our dreams.  Dreams can be very abstract and they may seem impossible to reach, but you can accomplish your dreams.  I have one hundred and one dreams listed out on my wall to remind me everyday and so far, I have accomplished seven of those.  They can be small and/or big dreams and you can achieve them.  Know that you deserve the best no matter who you are.  However, sometimes, opportunities are given to you and sometimes you have to work for it.  Most importantly, being kind is always better than being right.  In order to be happy, you must know what it feels like to be sad.  Without experiencing both emotions, you will never be able to live life to the fullest.

I Have Good Instincts

I miss my Drama 130A class.  It was definitely one of the most scariest classes I have ever took to push and challenge myself as a performer/actor.  I am glad that I took it with Adrian because he still scares the bejezzes out of me because he looks intimidating and he’s honest about what he sees and such.  I was really struggling through out the 5 weeks to be the best that I can be because it is intermediate acting, it’s no longer I can wing my way through this.  I have to be prepared and I have to know my goals, objectives and beats.  I have to know what my character wants, how am I going to affect my scene partner, what are the thoughts running though my mind, and how do I know if I do get what I want from my scene partner.

I’m happy to say that during my last scene work, he was able to give me good criticism as well as the news that has probably given me new confidence in my acting.  All along I have been waiting for someone credible to tell me that “Jessica you are good at acting” in order to pursuit this passion.  I have never been able to keep up with others in my class who may have performed in more shows than I have.  All I had were my high school class and a desire and curiosity to be good at this craft.

It really meant a lot to me when he said, “You have good instincts, just slow down your moments.”  Because one, he would not just say it to everyone in the class and two, he is honest and would never jerk you around like that.  He has renewed my faith in my acting and this is what I strive for.

Last year I hesitated to sign up for Mega Auditions for UCI, this year I screamed when I recieved the e-mail to notify students to sign up.  I signed up in a heartbeat.  I want to perform on stage with my fellow peers this year.  I want to make it happen.  I am going to make it happen this year.  Small or big part, I just want to be up there.

I Should Write My Own Comedic Monologues

I think it’s about time for me to invest in a recorder or a quick notepad or whatever, whenever I get the inspiration to write something funny of how I view things.  Monologues are just characters talking about their perspective on a particular subject and their “blindedness” to what the audience deem “silly” or “not right” to society.  It’s one thing to write your own monologues, and it’s another in the way you deliver that monologue.  I think it’s also about the little stuff that is exposed, but no one really has the guts to say it because, well you might sound funny.  Regardless of what society things, I have a mind and a voice and I shouldn’t be afraid to share it either as laughter, saddness, etc.

Introduction to Costume Design

I am quite excited for this class.  Besides my little or limited oil painting classes that I took over the summer, this would have to be my first “art class” for drawing with the logistics, etc.  However, my instructor is quite the character.  Holly Poe Durbin.  She’s actually the head of the costumes department at UC Irvine.  Therefore, I am totally excited to be taking a class taught by head of a certain department on campus.

Her personality is similar to the character from the movie “The Devil Wears Prada”,  Miranda Priestly, but nicer and not as cut-throat.  On that note, it still scares me a bit whenever I walk into the classroom and watch her teach comparing her to Miranda’s character from the movie.

The other day, we learned from Holly that as students or perhaps soon-to-be or interested in designing that we should “stalk” people because to design costumes or anything, the best research you can get is the present or from what you see.  Therefore, she has a camera with her at all times in her purse and she has been stopped quite a few times for taking pictures of people with or without their permission because of what they were wearing.  I guess you can say you can take that as a compliment on your outfit!

She noted that it does help to keep a business card that says you are a costume designer when being stopped or questioned by authorities.  I should record some things she says.  It’s quite fascinating and I’m sure you guys will all get a kick out of it.

Trust

That just so happens to be the topic of the meeting Chris and I will be hosting during 4th week.  I know that in general I am able to trust a lot of people and others have remarked it as a sign of being naive.  However, being in Drama 30A, my acting class, has brought a new perspective.  More or less I am pushed out of my comfort zone to trust other people I do not know that well in the class by something else more or less then telling them about my goals, dreams, etc.

Today my teacher told us to close our eyes and to listen to the music and then to start dancing in our own way as if no one was watching or looking.  Despite that I knew everyone closed their eyes, it was still hard for me to trust her just to dance and let loose.  Perhaps this is a different type of trust, well not perhaps, this IS a different type of trust that maybe comes along with confidence.  Thing is I knew I could trust my teacher, but I couldn’t.

Perhaps in a sense I don’t trust myself.  I’m just not able to trust myself to be or do the best I can be onstage or something.